Dear Chris,
Words could never express the gratitude that is owed to you for the search you completed for me. The day I received the phone call, April 18, that you had located my son will be one never to be forgotten. I had always wondered where my son was and if he was okay. I never went one day of not thinking of him. You made my long awaited dream come true of being reunited with my son that I love so much.
When I presented you with all my information about my search, it was like standing before God and being given the book of the many years that I longed to know and had missed my son. Finally, everything I needed to find my son was there in my hands. I guess I always knew that someday God would allow us to be together. I always had a very strong desire to find Paul. I would never have wanted him to think that I didn’t want him. I didn’t sleep all night because of the intense emotions I was feeling and the different emotions I was feeling.
I first tried to contact him by phone but was unable to get him. I contacted him on April 19, 1989 by going to his house. We pulled into the driveway and his girlfriend was standing outside. I was so scared. My daughter jumped out of the car before I made it stopped. She said “is Paul here.??? His girlfriend replied “no he is not,??? and Angie, my daughter then replied, “I am Paul’s sister.??? His girlfriend replied “Oh my God.??? At this time I said her name and I said, “I know know you are Paul’s girlfriend; does Paul know he was adopted???? She replied “yes, he’s been looking for you.??? At this moment I knew there was a very good chance my son and I would reunite. I told her that I thought it would be best if I were to leave and to cal her back with a number that he could reach me if he wanted to see me. I waited for about 45 minutes. The anticipation was overwhelming. Finally, the call came. Paul was unable to hear me. I hung up and called his house. He came to the phone. He said, “Hello, how are you,??? I replied, “the question is how are you.??? At that point, I broke down and could no longer say anything. He said, “Well, would you like to see me.??? I replied, “what about in five minutes,??? and he said, “Come to my house.??? As I was driving my daughter asked said, “Mom, what does it feel like to know you are going to see your son for the first time in 19 1/2 years???? I couldn’t answer her. All I could think of was getting there as fast as I could. As I arrived at his house and started up the steps he came out the door and down the steps, we grabbed each other; we couldn’t let each other go. I said, “Paul, I’ve waited for this day for 19 1/2 years and I always prayed that God would watch over you and would let us be together someday. Paul said, “Mom, I love you and I have been looking for you.??? My daughter and his girlfriend were also embracing and crying. It was more than I had ever thought it would be.
He was as excited about me finding him as I was in my search to locate him. He had pictures laid out on the table and wanted everything to be perfect.
I will remember this day for the rest of my life. He is still young (19), so I hope we will have quite a few years left together. He is very excited that he has another family of a brother and two sisters. We have been spending some time together and everyone in my family is very excited. My son, Paul, had also contacted the same person I had at the Department of Social Services where he was placed for adoption, but was told there was no information that could be released. Paul had tried to locate me before his high school graduation so I could be there and I had tried to locate him in October. I am very much in favor of Open Records as it should be, and could make our searches so much easier.
Now that I have found Paul, I can live with my decision a little easier, even though, the pain of giving him up will always be with me. My caseworker at DSS knows as anyone else the love I had for Paul and the very difficult decision I had in giving him up. Because of Paul’s birth defect, I was told that he would have to undergo extensive surgery and speech therapy and that there was a possibility that he would not be placed because of his birth defect and would have to be placed in a foster home. I knew I couldn’t see him in a foster home for the rest of his life. I went with him to Duke Hospital to have plastic surgery and made many visits for the first 6 months of his life. Finally, May, Jane, my caseworker called me and told me that I had to make a decision, that they were carrying all the expenses. She also said that Paul could be placed since his surgery was so successful. I knew I didn’t have another choice but to give him up. There was no one to help me financially and DSS never informed me of any programs that would allow assistance to me. I signed the papers in May. Several weeks later I telephoned Jane to tell her that I like to try to keep Paul but she said it was too late. I would call her periodically and she would keep me posted as to how Paul was doing. I received the last call from her in December to tell me that Paul had been adopted.
I can truly say now that God has answered all of my prayers in letting me find my son. He is, and will always be very special to me. All of my children are very special to me, but Paul holds a very special place in my heart. I thank you and God for letting this occur.
I encourage other mothers who have relinquished their children to search. This was my one and only dream that had not been fulfilled in my life. Thank you so much for you time and willingness to handle these difficult situations, as we could not be reunited with our children without you. If there is anything I can do for your organization, please do not hesitate to contact me. I will continue to attend the AIE meetings so that I may be of support for other birth mothers looking for their children.
I am enclosing some pictures that we have taken. Also, I am enclosing a poem that I wrote the night that I was reunited with Paul. Paul and his 17 year old sister look very much alike. We all love him very much. Thank you again for all of your efforts.
Sincerely, C. |
