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Dear Kinsolving,
I cannot begin to thank you enough!!!!!Words can't express the emotions that were there between my brother and I. It took me awhile, but after running to the store to get cigarettes, calling Mom, I knew the moment was there yesterday!!!!!!! You just know in your heart when the timing is right!!!! So, after trying to retain the info, you provided me in making "the first contact", I nervously returned from the store, having been in such a state of shock, and decided to email the NYA List - Sylvia's List- again for making first contacts, because my heart was beginning to race!!!! I didn't want to "blow this chance"! Couldn't stand to wait for a reply from the list, so I rummaged through some NYS returned to sender letters, I'd written last year to those in one of my databases, my pile of search materials all over the floor in my room:) It was very similar to what you suggested to say!!!! Then what you said came back into my head. I was READY!!!!!!!
So, I dialed the number, wrote down the one word subjects, "just in case" we were at a loss. NOT NECESSARY!!!!!!!!!! I said "Hi, is this D?" Wow, hearing his voice for the first time!!! AWESOME!!!!!!! Then I said, "Well, is this a good time to talk? Are you alone?" Oh, and by the way I'm not a saleslady!" He said "Yes, I guess so". I replied, "You were born on ____, in Buffalo, NY? " He said "Yes". I could tell by his reaction then, that it was okay, the tone in his voice, very easy going....I said "My name is S, I'm your sister!!!" He said, all excited, very receptive, "I was born __________". Then he said," I think my Mother's name was RV..... I said does the name A M mean anything to you, then he said, "Wait a minute!!! My Dad's name was R M". I said "Yes!!!!" He said "Oh,my god this is unbelievable!!!!" We were never once at a loss of words!!!!!!! He said he started to search in 1999, after his adoptive father passed away, within a month. He hired 1-800-US-Search,-nothing-:)
Funny, I'd also called them, back in the days when I was a naive searcher:)S said he tried looking for Miller on the Internet!!! Said, he even searched in FLA, thinking they may have retired there.I said, Unfortunately, things started to go in a state of disarray with his wife, and he stopped his efforts!!! She also took his computer!!!! We decided, should this had not occurred, we would have found each other over a year ago!!!!!
He ransacked his house, while we were talking. There was never a real moment's silence!!!!!!!!!! He said he had the papers, with both their names on it, along with his "original birth certificate"!!!!!!! As is his younger sis:), he is very disorganized!!!! At LAST HE FOUND THE PAPERS!!! EXCEPT FOR HIS BC!!!!!!!!!!!!! He read off our birthparents names, and the actual RELINQUISHMENT PAPERS THAT HAD MOM'S/Dad's signatures. He said they looked like they were written, with the same handwriting!!!!!! ". How did they get these papers???? Have heard of the adoption decree with bnames on it but RELINQUISHMENT PAPERS. AND Original BC???? Also some of the NON-ID they had was false! Included, that he had a younger sister who was adopted!!! Also, the bfamily was of a Political Background-ALSO FALSE!!!!! He said the latter deterred him from his search for us, because he'd had fears Politicians were crooks, at one time:). and that he didn't want anything to hurt his aparents who'd ENCOURAGED HIM TO SEARCH!!!! I must say, I respect him, for respecting his Aparents that way!!!!!!!
Boggles my mind. Anyhow to make a long story short, I'm continuing this letter a day or so, later, as you can probably tell, by the way it's written. I'd called him on Sunday, evening, we spoke well over 4 hours!!! Only hung up because his phone battery went dead!!! Luckily for me I'd given him my number. We're both airheads!!!!! It took a few minutes for me to relay the number to him. There is without doubt, absolutely he IS MY BROTHER!!!! He of course later called me that evening, around 1am his time!!!!
It was so funny, he said he KNEW HE HAD A SISTER who was gonna FIND HIM!!!! And, "What took you so long Sis, 45 years!!!!!" We also wished each other belated "Happy Birthdays", his being JULY 4th, I said "By the way Happy Birthday". Mine being JULY !0th ,1955, he said Happy Birthday to you, too!!! Why'd I know that was coming!!!:)"
We've been on the phone for hours these last few days, and to be called "SIS", since within, the first few minutes of our conversation, to hearing "I Love You" from my brother, and being given the opportunity, to say "I Love You" to him, means more than words can ever express my gratitude, for what you've done for us, KINSOLVING !!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BTW, he's thinking about changing his name again!!!!!!!!!
My heartfelt thanks,
SB/NY |
Dear Kinsolving,
Just wanted to update you about what's going on with my birthmother. She requested pictures of myself and my family and as soon as they received them, I received a phone call. They were totally blown away by the resemblance between me, my birthmom, and my half-sister and we again talked on the phone for about 2 hours. I received their pictures today and could not believe how much we looked alike, and we again talked for over an hour. They are trying to make plans to come to Chicago for Christmas. We are all so exited.
Their daughter has sent off another batch of pictures that I should receive later this week, and she is planning to call me as well. In my wildest dreams, I would have never expected this outcome. Thank you Chris. The work you do is so very important to us.
Sincerely,
LM/NY |
I spoke with Betsy again and got much more clarification - she had been married - she was separated at the time of my birth - J is my dad and my brothers dad. My brother has been looking for me for several years. I spoke with my brother and sister yesterday until 2am! Everyone is very excited and my brother has a ton of information as he has researched the family to great extent. If I did not find him , he would have found me. Mom did not want him to search while she was alive so he made her promise to leave all information for him in the house and he would look then. It has been a very neat and almost overwhelming experience - I spoke to my adoptive brother (who is my full brother) and he is stunned. Needless to say the 4 of us will probably get together sometime in the near future, and meet later with mom. Thanks for everything!
MZ /NC |
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