|
|
Thank you.
I wanted to take the time out to say Thank you for your help and encouragement for the quest to find My natural birth family. They also want to say Thank You. My Two Sisters are beautiful and very sweet, they look just like me, there is also a strong resemblance between me and the other family members, I have My Grandmothers teeth, & I look just like My maternal Grandfather, who passed in the 1960s. He was a Presbyterian Minister, he passed when he was only 41 years old. He died of a pneumatic heart attack.
When I was Born I was born addicted to Heroin My natural Family thought t would be safer for me to be placed in foster care & later to be adopted to protect me of the lifestyle of my Mother. She had all sorts of problems be with drug dealers or the law. She was in & out of jail all the way to her disappearance in 1990. I am amazed at just how much one person such as S has effected so many lives in & outside of her family, to think that If she had not abused drugs the children that would not have been born, & the children who were born maybe some just might have led somewhat normal lives, which brings me to my Brother D who was brought into this world when S was only Sixteen years old. D grew up with his fathers side of the Family, they wanted him to have a black upbringing, and wanted him away from the drug lifestyle that S so much enjoyed (enjoyed with harsh consequences) away from the drug dealers and away the any influence that so much might sway their beloved Grandson in the wrong direction in his life, yet somehow D also fell victim to the life our mother led. D was killed in the streets of Oakland, shot in the leg, he bled to death at the age of 29. The sad part of it all, is grandma B wonders why her beloved Grandson D wont call her, little does she know, the Family has decided not to tell her afraid it may take her over the edge to death itself, somehow they felt it would be better that way after all the turmoil she had gone through with her daughter S. Still to this day Grandma B will cry at why her first Grandchild D will not call or visit, she wonders at what she had done to make this so, or to wonder who she can hire to find out where he moved to.She looks in the white pages to see if there is a new listing for a D (who left behind two children of his own). When I visited My maternal Grandmother she had mentioned D, & it hurt me to know that I knew of his demise before the visit, I was forewarned by my Aunt not to tell her what had happened for it my kill her, so I sat and lied to her with my eyes to seem interested in who my brother was knowing full well I would never really know who my brother was. The second time I visited Grandma B was during the weekend of the of the week of my first visit with her, this time my newfound Sister A was with me. I also sat quiet while Grandma B inquired About our Dead Brother, who's ashes remain at some unknown address in the United States somewhere. The heartache that must be going through this women is beyond what my words may say, yet it leaves me with this understanding that I relate to. Her name is S.L.A, Pandora's box, a legacy of heartache, suffering, for just not her, but her first son D, and her son N (myself), but most of all she left a scar to forever wound her two daughters, A, & M, who witnessed their mother shooting drugs in her arm. Daughters who will always go through life not knowing whether the men they are with will abuse them just like boyfriend of their mother, or just like the fathers of these two girls. I sit and tell myself now " really was lucky" I did not have to endure the suffering these girls went through. I sit there and tell myself "be glad be very glad" that I am alive today to discover the horrors My Mother has put this family through. I tell myself how fortunate I was to have a family adopt me who loved me very much, even after the horrors I put them through. well nothing compared to that of S.
S also has 4 sisters and one brother, who have all been through therapy in some form of another to get past this all, this living hell, nightmare. They still are not able to have closure due to the fact her (S's)body has never been found or recovered, which leaves the question, "is she alive? has she changed for the better?" maybe she just wanted to change her identity. until her body is found or recovered or identity revealed, this family will never have closure. Generations will have been told of the past that S had left behind. I get the question now after 3/4 of the search is over. Are you disappointed in what you have found.
MY answer. "I have found a treasure two sisters which I already adore and a family that has endured heartache willing to embrace me. |
Dear Kinsolving,
I want you to know once again how thankful I am that you exist. And that you have a wonderful heart...
Mom and I will celebrate our year anniversary on Friday the 27th. I can't believe it's been a year.. Where has the time gone...
I can tell you one thing though. It does not seem like we've been apart for 40 years.. We have this bond that is indescribable.... And I thank you for that....
Love,D.S.
New York |
Dear Kinsolving,
It took a long time and a lot of courage- I finally called my brother tonight. He was so unbelievably receptive to my call. We spoke for over an hour. We are both thrilled and want to meet each other. Thank you for helping me find him, helping my dream come true and most of all, your advice on how to contact him. thank you from the bottom of my heart- I also recommended you to some one else.
sincerely,
M.H.
New York/North Carolina |
|
