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Dear Chris,
I had gone with another company and spent quite a bit of money and they never found my birthmother in over a year. I contacted you on a Monday and by Friday you said you had her name and old address. By thursday you emailed all of my info.
the irony of this is that i had aquired this info just days before my 36th birthday so i was anticipating talking to her on that special day you know that was my fantasy, but God had another plan. You see the year prior i had just lost my adoptive mom to cancer and this would be my first birthday without her celebrating it with me and my family, and all the traditions she upheld. God wanted me to remember my adoptive mom on this day first and then my birth mom could then be invited into my life. Well a few days later we connected on the phone and we have emailed and talked for 8 months. Her 2 kids never knew about me and it took her 6 more months to tell them. you see she was raped as a young teenager and this she wanted to leave behind her, not realizing that she needed this reunion as much as i did. I am very happy to say that last Wed. November 10 2004 my birth mom and me finally met in person and we had a whole day to ourselves. I met my half brother and sister and my maternal aunt, and of course my birth mom's wonderful supportive husband. I have to say that i always fantasized about this but i never really expected this to happen. I was always realistic on my expectations and I always protected my heart from ever wanting to know anything but the facts. I guess i was one of the chosen lucky ones. I do believe this was God's will to give me back to her for the next 36 years of my life. I have told others about you folks and i am sure when they get the courage they will be contacting you.
God gave you a gift and you graciously put it to great use.
Gratefully yours
LG - CA |
Last Spring I met a birthmother while lobbying for the Bill of Adoptee Rights at the New York legislature. When she started telling me about making contact with her daughter, I asked how she had found her. She told me she worked with Kinsolving Investigations, an agency that helps find adoptees and birthparents. She told me that the best part about Kinsolving was that they would work on your case with out any payment. They charged a fee only if and when your case was solved. She told me how the agency was a member of the Better Business Bureau and she told me how they found her daughter, who was living overseas, in just a couple of months.
I'd been trying to find my birthmother for years on my own, as well as with the help of a search and support group, but to no avail. Since I was born in MA but adopted in NY, I can't get on any state's reunion registry. Thus, I started lobbying to change or at least amend the laws in NY pertaining to adoptees' birth records. After my husband and I went on Kinsolving's website to check them out, we decided to send them my non-identifying information. They immediately got back to me saying that thought they could solve my case. I admit that it was strange to communicate with an unknown web-based agency via email. I've rarely bought anything online, let alone contracted with an investigative firm, but I felt I had exhausted all my other resources in effort to find my birthmother.
Within 24 hours of my contract signing, Kinsolving solved my case! I was blown-away, as was my husband, especially because now we had to pay! But, believe me, it was well worth every dime. Kinsolving didn't just provide me with the name, current address and phone number for my birthmother (which is what was agreed upon). They gave me names, addresses and phone numbers of my birthmother's parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, and children, as well as her marital status, and her parent's living status. Then, as if all this information wasn't enough, Kinsolving went a step further and actually counseled me, based on their years of experience, on how to go about making initial contact with my birthmother. They worked with me prior to my contacting her and then they helped me deal with my hurt feelings afterward. They even helped my husband who was upset for me when my conversation with my birthmother didn't go well.
I planned on writing this letter, praising Kinsolving for solving my case in a day and then helping me throughout the contacting process. However, now I feel compelled to tell my story. Six months after I made initial contact with my birthmother by phone, I sent her a letter. I received a scathing letter back from her saying how outraged she was over having her privacy violated and still denying that she was a birthmother (let alone mine). I emailed Kinsolving asking for help dealing with her response. I got an email back from them, but I also got a phone call. The call was from an agent who hadn't worked on my case, but who had solved a case for a person in my birthmother's family... 20 YEARS AGO! Since he still had their information on file, he called them up, and sure enough my second cousin was still at the same address. My cousin had used Kinsolving Investigations, twenty years ago, to find the son she gave up for adoption. They solved her case too. So, she was happy to talk to this agent and she was happy to talk to me. Thanks to that agent's amazing memory and the agency's wonderful record-keeping, I have a long-distance relationship with a blood relative for the first time in my life!
Communicating and contracting with Kinsolving primarily by email was scary. In fact, I was VERY nervous to send them a large check BEFORE receiving any identifying information from them; just an email saying my case had been solved. Yet, now I think that the conversation I had with the birthmother at the NYS Legislature, telling me about Kinsolving, was a message from God. Kinsolving Investigations has given me answers to some life-long questions, they helped me cope with the results, and they gave me the ability to have a relationship with an actual relative. What a bargain!
Sincerely,
A Grateful & Healing Adoptee & K.I. Client |
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