Greetings!
I just wanted to continue to update you on the events since you completed my search. Attached is a brief (for me!) description of my contact with my relinquished son. Feel free to use it in your newsletter if that is appropriate.
I can't thank you enough for the joy this reunion has brought into our lives.
Have a joyful day! JW/PA
It was almost time to leave. I was about to meet the son that I had relinquished nearly 37 years ago. My other three children were there to offer support. They commented on my appearance and gave encouragement. I rehearsed in my head what I was going to say to my son and his parents.
I had thought about this moment often in the course of the last thirty-seven years. Many false starts had been made: registering with adoption assist groups, contacting the obstetricians who had delivered the baby, posting on birth family websites. I had contacted Kinsolving Investigations eight years before, but never signed a contract. Finally, in March 2006, it was time.
Three months later, I received the email message that I had anticipated: Your case has been completed. But I was on vacation with my sister and didn t have access to the funds to complete payment on the fee. So I had to suspend my curiosity for another few days. Upon my return home three days later, I sent the funds as directed. The information would be in my email inbox within 24 hours.
That night a storm hit. Our Internet connection went down. The file was waiting, but I couldn t retrieve it. So I drove to a local teachers center and went to their computer lab. As I logged onto my account, the power went out throughout the building. The lights came on via generator power, but the computer lab was closed for the day. God has a strange sense of humor, I thought. So I resigned myself to another day s delay.
That evening my son called. Well? he asked. I recited the story of the power outages. Unable to wait any longer, he logged onto my email account from his home and read the information to me.
Imagine my surprise to find that the son I had given up so many years ago currently lived less than ten miles away! But now that I had the information, new decisions loomed.
I decided to write a letter. That would allow my son to read it at his leisure, digest the information, and determine what to do. In my letter, I attempted to answer the questions that I assumed he had: why had I relinquished, why had I searched, why now? I also included information about my family. I concluded by letting him know that I would not pursue communication if that wasn t what he wanted. I included all my contact information.
Three days later I received an email from him. The subject line read Hello and thank you. In addition to admitting how overwhelmed he felt at the moment, he wrote, I can t find words sufficient to thank you for giving me life and then allowing me to be adopted into a great family. Tears welled in my eyes as I realized that the prayers I had raised on his behalf through the years had been answered. My child had grown up in a secure, loving family. And he didn't hate me.
Although he expressed interest in getting to know me, he asked for time to process and to break the news to his parents.
Now that I had finally taken this step, patience was difficult. At last, six weeks later, everything was in place. Armed with documentation supporting my claims, I headed for the restaurant where I was to meet J and his parents. In the car, I rehearsed what I was going to say to my son and his mother.
I approached the restaurant lobby. As I was about to extend my hand, my son opened his arms for a hug. Our relationship began.
In the two weeks that have followed, my son has met his biological siblings. We have all carried on extensive email communication, exchanging stories, journal entries, poetry, and emotions. In addition to the physical similarities, we are discovering habits and perspectives that match. One of my other sons commented that it was like an experiment in nature versus nature.
He & I are going to spend some one-on-one time together soon. A date has been scheduled for him to meet his extended family. As my birthson put it in a recent email, I have had an incredible journey already, and I'm excited about where things go next. |
